Are the teens of the 80s legitmately concerned about the state of the world they’re inheriting, or are they being brainwashed into angry zombies by this “silly fad” of punk music? You think you know, but you have no idea, man. Join Chelsea and Andrew as they follow the adventures of a rogue medical examiner and his reactionary girlfriend into a world of outrage, slamdancing, murder, and good old ‘ludes. When they’re around, every room is an emergency room.
Way back in the 90s, media mogul Ted Turner had a dream: cartoons should teach kids things! Captain Planet premiered, and thus began the greenwashing of the youth. Join Andrew, Chelsea, Miles, Earth, Wind, Fire, Water, Heart, Tidiness, Recycling, White Guilt, Equal Pay, and all the other Planeteers in our quest to stop an evil LeproRat from poisoning the minds of the population with glowing pills and pocket cheese.
Okay, here’s the problem with Daryyyl: he’s part of the Bad Influence Crew. Join Chelsea, Andrew, Raven, other Chelsea, Eddie, brother Cory, friend of the pod Rich Correll, and The Ghost of Monkey Thievery Present, as they navigate a world in which one teenage girl is psychic and everyone already knows. Oh snap!
High school can be rough, even in prehistory. Luckily, teenagers can always be counted on to make horrible decisions — even if they’re teen puppet dinosaurs! Join Andrew and Chelsea for a crash course in dinosaur sexual and gender relations as they grapple with body dysmorphia, steroid abuse, and Spike’s accent.
Is My So-Called Life the definitive voice of its generation, a mopey soap for teens, or something else entirely? Chelsea and Andrew have very different opinions. Join our two intrepid hosts, Miles, the luminous Claire Danes, and The Ghost of Female Pop Vocalists Past as they discover if there’s really no place like home for the holidays. Do the Chases believe in God? Why is Brian Krackow so pissy at the holidays? Won’t someone feed Rickie — he looks so cold! I don’t know, I wasn’t even, like, there, LEAVE ME ALONE I CAN’T TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS, MOM.
Now this is a story all about how Carlton ended up going from the world’s most low-rent prom to the substance abuse ward in the blink of his tweaked-out eye. Intrigued? Join Chelsea and Andrew as they examine why even CONSIDERING using drugs will put your entire family in grave danger. Uncle Phil will be extremely disappointed if you don’t.
If you drop kick your jacket when you come through the door, does no one “care,” “stare,” or “glare”? This is just one of the many delicious mysteries of MR. BELVEDERE, the classic show Chelsea and Andy are tackling in this episode. Is little Wesley really the manipulative sociopath the family makes him out to be? How many famous people has Mr. Belvedere actually worked for? And did Heather ever manage to pass her summer school class?? The answers to some of these questions will be answered; others are lost to time. Join us, won’t you? We promise not to stare or glare.
In their first foray into the world of action drama and mullets, Chelsea and Andrew follow Angus MacGyver as he tries to single-handedly save his young friend, stop black rhino poaching in its abominable tracks, AND enjoy his trip to stock footage of Africa. Jeepin’ ain’t easy, but MacGyver’s mullet makes it look good. Adopt a rhino! Name it MacGyver! Learn science and then use it to come up with waterslide-based plans of action! The exhortations are seemingly endless. ***AND we draw the winner of the Click-or-Treat Very Special Prize Package!!***
It’s hard out there for a pimp, especially when his name is “Mike” and he’s working out of a coffee shop in Times Square. Join Chelsea, Andrew, Miles, and the “The Facts of Life” gals as they leave the ordinary world of boarding school behind and head into the seedy, unpredicable special world of 80s New York City. Will Tootie be recruited into underage sex work: braces, bowl-cut, and all? Or will Mrs. Garrett’s impeccable phone acting skills somehow save the day? There’s only one way to find out.
In this episode, Andrew and Chelsea discuss a double-episode so famous it spawned its own Facebook Group! Come with us as we explore the moral gray area of concert bootlegging, discuss which of us is a “real Dee,” and discover one of the truths of the universe: if you see something, tell Michael McDonald.