“Welcome to Hamilton High, where all the students major in drugs!” H&L is back with a real classic of the “Just Say No” genre. We’ve got an earnest protagonist, we’ve got grade-A freakouts, we’ve got future Oscar winners judo-kicking out of second-story windows. Will CARING SO MUCH triumph over indifference, drugs, and swimming? Or will yet another suburban teen succumb to his poorly-defined life pressures and terrible taste in friends? Join us to find out!
Category: Drinking & Drugs
Ep 098: Emotional Rollycoaster: Part 1 (“Desperate Lives”)
“Welcome to Hamilton High, where all the students major in drugs!” H&L is back with a real classic of the “Just Say No” genre. We’ve got an earnest protagonist, we’ve got grade-A freakouts, we’ve got future Oscar winners judo-kicking out of second-story windows. Will CARING SO MUCH triumph over indifference, drugs, and swimming? Or will yet another suburban teen succumb to his poorly-defined life pressures and terrible taste in friends? Join us to find out!
Ep 095: Saved By the Cowbell (“Hey Dude” S3E11)
It’s a little wild and a little strange that this is our first HEY DUDE episode. And it’s a doozy of a debut — this is the LOST episode of the beloved Nickelodeon show. “Lost,” you say? Imagine if Sam Shepard wrote most of an episode of this light teen comedy, and you’ll soon figure out why. Join us for a deep dive into the fraught interpersonal relationships of the adult children of alcoholics, and also stinky feet jokes.
Ep 086: Booksack: Child Noir (“EERIE, INDIANA” S1E06)
It’s 1991, PSA and VSEs are all the rage, but one show dares to be different: EERIE, INDIANA — TWIN PEAKS for TWEENS. If you remember this show (which ran for a single season and was a nearly-perfect ratings bomb), you probably remember it fondly. Join Chelsea, Andrew, and Very Special Guest Allie Fireel as we plumb the depths of this smart, layered show to arrive at a unanimous conclusion: NBC was not ready.
Ep 083: Dick Van Dyke Move (“The Dick Van Dyke Show” S4E10)
This episode has it all: accidental wife-punching, a small drug overdose, thirty-five glorious seconds of verbal gymnastics, the Mary Tyler More Physical Comedy Spetacular — and that’s BEFORE we get to the special message about prescription drug abuse! They don’t make ’em like this anymore, folks. Come on in (and look out for that ottoman)!
Ep 082: Just An Old Plant (“Thundercats” S1E09)
Would you like to be on drugs, but you’ve run out, and your dealer won’t come within six feet of you? We have the solution: THUNDERCATS. Join Chelsea, Andrew, Miles, and all fourteen citizens of Third Earth as we test the drug tolerance of cat/human hybrids (very low) and our own ability to drag a moral kicking and screaming out of a cartoon (top-notch).
Ep 081: A Johnny Dakota Joint (“Saved By the Bell” S3E21)
The hypocrisy really stacks up like a layer cake in this meta anti-drug-PSA episode of SAVED BY THE BELL. Let us break it all down for you: the unsubstantiated rumors, the real-life relationships, the bizarre writing choices, and that head-scratcher of an ending. After we delve into this, you’ll be saying, “Thanks, Guy.” And you’ll really mean it.
Ep 072: Just An Old Woman (“He-Man” S01E10)
In this episode we meet Jarvan! He throws flash balls, he apparates and disapparates, he can change his appearance at will — but are all these powers any match for the mopey low-self esteem of a scantily-clad blond? That’s right, we’re back on this bullshit. Let’s see if Mattel handles this thorny issue any better than Hasbro did last week. Spoiler alert: even on Eternia, you can be not good enough to be good for nothing.
Ep 071: The Jemini Paradox (“Jem” S02E13)
What’s it like to be a foster kid in the 80s? How do teenagers deal with sudden traumatic loss? Are older redheaded men preying on impressionable teen girls? None of these questions will be answered in this episode, which instead tackles the real scourge of teen girldom — low self-esteem. Want to see something truly outrageous? Join Chelsea, Andrew, Miles, Jem, The Holograms, A Salty Social Worker, but sadly NOT Rio or the Misfits, as we travel down the quickest drug spiral known to medical science, with the wettest blanket known to television.
Ep 069: Boy Meets West (“Boy Meets World” S05E18)
Teen drinking in sitcoms has drastic effects. It turns Corey cool, Shawn violent, and somehow… Angela pays the price? Between “absolutely no effect” and “Mad-Men-level functionality” lies the truth about teens and alcohol. Will we reach it in this episode? Join us and find out!